John articles

It feels nice to have someone who loves you. Sweet someone who not only loves you but gives you the confidence of ‘Love is a beautiful thing‘. Am talking of a spouse that knows almost every side of your coin. Someone who keeps off all of their issues and decides to work things with you. Someone who keeps your flames lightened from the first day you meet them to eternity.And whenever your flaws want to take over, they know how to handle them.

(BUT). Did you hear what i just said BUT it feels so horrible to have someone who doesn’t even worry about you for once. Someone who makes you feel unwanted, worthless and at some point you begin hating yourself. Whether they see you or not they’d still be fine.People who makes us shed tears because of being so much into them. Am not talking about family relations am talking of love. A four letter word that has greatness in it. It  has taken me  years to believe in it. And even though i believe in it, i don’t just rush into whatever comes my way. That aside.

To the heartbroken out  there- To the guys in relationships with partners who don’t appreciate them, my prayer is that your eyes open soon. And you begin to understand love leveled on a rough ground never smooth-ens in the future. May your eyes open – find a spouse that will appreciate you and if you are a lady be patient wait for a guy- best for you. And even if you find one before time, give him the confidence that he is the one.

I keep on repeating that matters of the heart can’t be complicated. That’s quite simple to mean that there’s no way you’d be in a sucking relationship and still be like,

“I’m persevering to my best”

Hell no!! Don’t persevere more that enough. Are you Jesus???  I know am firm believer of advising people to hold on their loved ones but please and i repeat it, please don’t be a skunk in the whole thing. Find time ask honest questions, analyze the feedback, get into a personal-consultation and if it suits you do what’s best for you. The reality still stands  what is meant to be will do what?…… exactly.

Loving someone ain’t easy.Keeping them needs a lot of commitment. Breaking up with them might cost you a lot.Here’s my free advice, if you love someone, dedicate yourself until you can’t feel it anymore.You might have been heartbroken before but don’t let that intimidate you.Yeah! Be strong. Love your spouse like never before.Embrace their flaws.Keep their secrets and make sure you insure their insecurities.If you guys have an argument, sit down talk like matured people. Relationships ain’t all about kisses and cuddles. In-fact i’d better tell you the truth that some relationships will never see the threshold of marriage so stop acting like you are married to someone or married someone.It’s just a relationship and the stronger you become in it, the more chances you’ll have to survive your marriage.So grow your love as much as you can.Not by experiencing it from a mass of ‘exes’ but by learning how to be patient enough in your lows and tides.

Love is real but only when you find the perfect you in another person. #food_for_thought……

See you next time.

Xoxo.

“Loving you was the best thing that ever happened to me.” She texted

“Breaking my heart was the worst emotional humiliation that I never wish to have again.” I replied.

If you are reading this, I definitely know that you have an idea of how such conversations sail.It might have happened to you, a friend, a relative or you have probably seen it in the movies especially the soap operas.The pain of a break-up.

We all want to be in an ‘everlasting’ relationship.Something that begins at little chuckles of ‘can we become friends?’ Crawls into ‘I love you’.I mean love that leads us into ‘will you marry me?’ and goes all the way to walking down the aisle just to say  ‘for better for worse’.A relationship that lasts long enough leaving everyone with a fairytale  ‘….and they lived happily ever after.Something that begins from sunrise and goes till sunset. ‘Isn’t that everyone’s desire? To the many of us, it’s a desire to be fulfilled.But lemme remind you something important; ‘True love isn’t based on butterflies in the stomach or seeing the world move in slow-motion while music plays in the background.True love is being concerned about your partner’s well-being , regardless of what you have to do’.Point taken home.

In my articles I just love flowing with the reality.Fiction is never my thing.I love bringing my readers into the limelight of the truth.The reality of what true love is. Well am not flexible in everything about love but with a combination of what I feel, my past experiences and the things I know, I believe you might grab one or two things that will help you for a lifetime.Maybe not today but someday in life.Talking of breaking up with someone.Just by the mention of it, i know a lot has crossed your mind right now.Cold chills have dropped down your spine. You’ve probably imagined of how  it happened to you or just in case it hasn’t happened to you, you are trying to imagine how you’d survive it.When hell breaks loose. Right? Don’t worry, ‘SHIT’ happens.I was once told the same and i didn’t want to believe it until one day the reality unfolded before me.There’s nothing i could do about it other than brushing the dust off and thrill on.Though it took me ages and time. I changed completely.Yeah! Changed I for a lifetime but  I guess am not the only one in this world isn’t it?.It’s life though. Enough of that.

Loving someone ain’t easy.Keeping them needs a lot of commitment. Breaking up with them might cost you a lot.Here’s my free advice, if you love someone, dedicate yourself until you can’t feel it anymore.You might have been heartbroken before but don’t let that intimidate you.Yeah! Be strong.Love your spouse like never before.Embrace their flaws.Keep their secrets and make sure you insure their insecurities.If you guys have an argument, sit down talk like matured people. Relationships ain’t all about kisses and cuddles.Infact i better tell you the truth that some relationships will never see the threshold of marriage so stop acting like you are married to someone or married someone.It’s just a relationship and the stronger you become in it, the more chances you’ll have to survive your marriage.So grow your love as much as you can.Not by experiencing it from a mass of ‘exes’ but by learning how to be patient enough in your lows and tides.

…….

Did you get that? Don’t be too busy to listen to each others issues.Be there at times.In case you didn’t know the easiest way to kill a relationship and I keep telling people the same is lack of communication. The moment you guys have issues and you act dumb not to care, that’s a loophole  underway.Talk to him or her. Find time.Plan things together.Don’t be a pig that thinks about chocolates and food 24/7.Sometimes be a serious face.Talking of a serious face I didn’t mean that you frown.Not really.Learn to embrace maturity sometimes.Be a man with limits.Be the woman without limits.Are you really getting this?

Lastly you’ve got to understand people fall in love the same way people fall in love with food.First rejecting the unfamiliar, then everyday craving for the same thing.When you are in love, you hardly see your mistakes. Fact.Someone will try to tell you something helpful and you’ll be like,

“Just let me be,I know what am doing. Am matured enough?”

Well, we all know you are matured enough but believe me a little advice from someone mature enough wouldn’t do you any harm.Just swallow your pride, sit down and listen.Everyone wants whats best for you.So, if advice comes your way, grab what’s good enough for you and appreciate.

I understand that things work out differently to everyone, some of us will  have to go through a series of relationships before marriage and others will be lucky enough to settle down in one for a lifetime.It’s the wretched world, things happen differently.But whichever the case,whenever you get yourself into a relationship,Give it your best.Love harder.Whoever you meet in life let them feel that meeting you was the best thing  that ever happened in their life.Never break an innocent heart that will be the worst emotional humiliation ever.

See you.

Xoxo♥

Many are the times that we find ourselves in the crossroads of how to keep our relationships sailing till the ultimatum of ‘marriage’.Some people say,

‘i am just having fun and enjoying my youth, marriage comes after 20’s.

Well you might be right on that because it’s your own life and no one needs to control it.But ever asked yourself how many people mess you up on the way? And if you are a guy,the many hearts you will break before then? Girls break hearts too though countable times.First of all I’d tell you as a love affairs follower: Don’t ever love someone just because you want them, Love them because you feel it they are more than enough. Ok! I know you didn’t get that right and if I repeat it you won’t then try to get this,

‘lOVE isn’t the only thing that matters in life but apparently it is the only thing that makes us good people, just by how we care and treat people tells a lot about who we are.’ #Foodforthought.

Let that sink deep.So whenever you get yourself into something like love, then be prepared to commit yourself fully.And if by any chance your relationship isn’t focused on ending at tying the knot, my friend quit it as soon as possible because that’s violation of love itself.I know that shocks you but if you can’t swallow your pride and here me, you’ll always keep on counting ‘exes’,heartbreak and that will make you inferior into ever-loving someone strongly.

On the contrary with the legalisation of same-sex marriage,things have gotten sore especially to we writers of articles based on love,relationships,breakups and marriage because we focus on love based on opposite sex.However not to say much on that,same rules apply irrespective of whatever bond.Love comes before anything else.Chapter closed.

Talking of Love not Lust, you’ve probably heard of someone break up with their spouse because of intimacy issues,sleepover and even being denied kisses.You all hear this things even in the media.Right? Well pay attention and if you are a victim I’ve got your back.I’m not talking of marriage case am actually basing my article to the guys who are dating, courting, in a relationship or engaged. To precise guys who have boyfie, girlfie,  bae, boo, panda, munchkins, pookies, swee or even a fiance or a fiancée but still don’t know the burden of paying dowry. Hahahaha!

It is very important to know that being in a relationship or even an engagement is far much different from being in a marriage.And when i say far much, then just keep sinking  it that the two are two different things.A relationship is based on so many foundations, first you become a friend to someone, you guys graduate into more than just friends, then you begin to court one another, courting come in various packages but no matter what,you stick to the rule of keeping respect.It is in courting where one feels like yeah!..i think he/she is “More than enough”.Then finally that grabs you into dating or just to cut the formalities, a relationship.

Now lemme ask, Do you think you are on the right track?Or you just woke up one day met someone, boom fell in love at first sight  and life goes on?…I think you have the answer to youself.However whichever the case as i always say. “….matters of the heart can never complicated..” what I mean is, don’t let time deceive you that simply because you’ve known someone for a longer time they are good enough for you.Not really.You might meet someone in a few minutes and your love  life changes completely..Yeah it happens.That’s what flames of love do,  they consume things around them.

I hope I have clarified that courting,dating, relationships and engagements are  a threshold to marriage and therefore nothing should be done inappropriately. And one important tip, marriage is based on laws and at times traditions and customs  of the land unlike relationships which sharpen us into marriage.In relationships people break up whenever they feel like,one might get into more than five relationships in a year but for divorce to happen, legal proceedings are followed and if at all there is negligence of  responsibility, one might suffer a jail term.

So you leave someone because he/ she denies you……………………………….

To be continued

Hello my reader, I know you are probably used to read most of my articles being based on relationships, dating and ‘breakups’.I think changing the recipe just for today, wouldn’t be bad at all.

It takes a lot of sacrifice, hard work and perseverance to find the perfect something worthwhile to keep a lifetime.The reason as to why am saying this :Times have changed love is no longer what it used to be,people have become sharp and especially when distance is involved between loved ones,playing safe is definitely a priority.And to the people who come from the ‘sensitivity world’ feeling insecure becomes a daily web.

Talking of sensitivity i know some of you have no idea of what it means.Okay ever found yourself mad at someone simply because they didn’t reply your text messages immediately and yet they were online?Leave alone that,Do you get issues with trusting people who taken ages to call back after 4 or 5 missed calls? If your answer is yes to all of the questions above,you are definitely sailing in a boat of ‘sensitivity world’.What you swallow your  insecurities and begin of something like,

“Maybe they he/she is engaged in something important”

“Probably they left their phone at home or they are asleep”

Having such conclusions might help you avoid a lot of things.Try it sometime and your love life will be fun.

Enough of that, I now you are here to know about  perfect partner but to tell you the  truth there’s no such thing as ‘Perfect partner’ but am glad you are here to hear, what i have to tell you.

You need to understand  one important thing whenever you think of loving, dating or even marrying or getting married to someone; “One man’s meat  is another man’s poison”.Yeah! Your baby ‘mamma’  can’t be best to another guy,but she means the world to you.Your dark,tall and handsome(DTH) guy doesn’t mean the whole world to every girl.So do you get my point? Perfect partners don’t exist,they are made.Love your partner and bring out the best in them.

No matter how much you try to work things out, as long as you listen to your sensitivity,the perfect partner you are looking for might never come your way.And if at all they will come your way, you will never be able to notice them.First of all don’t give up-Embrace the daring character but don’t let it kill your confidence.The reason as to why am saying all these is because most people suffer heart-break and lose confidence of loving again.To others it’s no heartbreak,only a few disappointments and you feel like not trying anymore.You will lose a lot.

There are things that  you need to note very key and vital in every bond.As i always say, never get obsessed.Love someone  just as they are.obsessions are limited and with time they fade away.

I wouldn’t like to leave you with the curiosity of how to get a perfect patner.Just a few points to note.If you are a lady,find a guy who will be honest 24/7. A guy who isn’t driven by lust  and will be willing to listen to your opinions when necessary.You’ve heard me say: ‘Matters of the heart  can never be compromised’ Exaclty!. It is therefore very necessary to make a foundation that is based on no lust, a guarantee to a long lasting love story.

To the guys can’t forget you.Please note that there is always something great in a girl who doesn’t admire everything. A girl who is a guarantee of patience and something real.Even though this type of girls are rare, they actually do exist.They admire something specific, something unique in a guy. I mean something off the normal clique and even if you lose everything and remain with your life, They stick by you.Love you till eternity.Let such girls be your desire.

Now do you think you have a perfect partner?

Xoxo.

See you next time.

Send your reply below.

They say that “time heals every wound”  but  I personally tend to differ with this most commonly used quote.In fact I believe that this  phrase is sometimes used to blindfold people from the reality that; “what is meant to be will always be“.Okay let me bring my opinion into the limelight.Supposed you love someone, too much  and definitely if you’ve ever been in love you understand what   I mean by “loving someone too much”.This  is the kind of  love where  you get to a point of feeling like you can sacrifice your own peace just for your companion to be at peace.You  even  feel like withdrawing  all the good relations you have with anyone else just to be with them.And if at all they disappoint your feelings,you have no clue of how to survive without them.I know that this isn’t fictional.It’s the reality and this things happens and probably or maybe you are a victim.But  to the people who don’t believe in love probably that sounds stupid but it is the reality.Enough of that let’s get back to the main piece of cake.

Many people jump into relationships without considering whether they are truly ready to be in one.They get caught up in the excitement and giddiness of dating and fail to consider whether  the relationship is right for them at that point and time.This can be a recipe for disaster especially if one falls in love out of obsessions.To be much clearer, in this millennium most people fall in love due to physical considerations.Some get obsessed with the so-called ‘cleavages’, six packs, puffy beards, tattoos , height dogmatism, ‘tiny waist butterflies’, voice charming and the many other things that you know.This dangerous if you didn’t know.

I definitely know that we are all never the same nevertheless apologies if this sounds as a mass approach of things.But truth be told before any other considerations the two hearts have to click into the same password.And if you ask me why?’ I’d tell you  some people have suffered most  heart-break due to this obsessions.Another reason why people get into  so many relationships without settling  in one is the habit of refusing to get over their past.Unresolved issues will always pile up and unless you let go the things of yesterday,you’ll always be stuck and unable to get into better things.

With all that,do you now understand there’s nothing like ‘Time heals every wound’.There’s never a wound to be healed.The problem is always  ‘YOU’.Yeah! ‘you’.

if you want to settle for what’s coming tomorrow, let go of  what is holding you back today.Because what is meant to be will always be.Love is strong enough to bring them back.

TO WIN,YOU HAVE TO LOSE.

See you next time.Xoxo

Am not tall enough,you have to step on my toes for a hug.

Am not too strong,you want me to carry you whenever you feel tired.

Am not big enough,you have to punch me for fun.

Am not that cute,you have to break my neck for a selfie.

Am not sure if I dance well enough,you want us to be ballerinas…..

Such a dummy you are,my dummy ha ha

Am not a muscular button,you keep on pinching  my bony biceps.

Your hands feel lonely without holding mine.

But all in all guess what, I Am Because You Are.

Until we become  grey and old,I’ll be here forever.

MY PANDA

Waking up that morning,I got a text on my phone reading out loudly in bold letters;

“Hi, I know you are single. And am also sure that you have no secret admirer in mind.Yeah! I  also have it guaranteed that you don’t want to be in any relationship any soon. Well that’s okay. I want you know that, whenever you feel like loving someone, lemme be the first priority. I want to be your first love. I know this sounds awkward and kiddish. Maybe you’re thinking am a ‘desperado’ but ‘Nop’. Please grant my solemn wish.”

Lord gracious! I hadn’t seen this coming my way. I rose up from my bed, sat on my pillow. Crossed my legs and reread the ‘solemn wish’. It was real.But how? How could a stranger know that am single?-I had no secret admirer and didn’t want to be in any relationship any soon? I couldn’t remember telling anyone about my  ‘Love line’. My curiosity grew wider beyond my limits and I definitely needed to sort things out. Maybe this was it.Love.

I raised my fingers. Moved them in sequences across my qwerty keyboard and begun to type a reply. But something was strange about this stranger. I rarely reply to unknown senders. But here i was typing a reply. I must say this was more special than i thought. The thrill was unusual.

I typed word by word, making sure all my telepathic engines were functioning.No mood swings. I mean am not the only who behaves this way.We are many out there. That moment you get a text from a stranger and they sound so polite – you even get interested in wanting to meet them in person. You find yourself  typing skeptically  in one single-text-message. Excluding nothing. I know you do it too. Don’t you? Ha! Ha! Ha!.

The thrill was actually incredible because I sunk deeply into it. Typed skeptically  including all the appropriate emojis. Then I realized that I even had an imaginary person in my mind. The more I typed, the more  I saw myself in a face to face conversation with the stranger. Finally I was done typing. Raised my thumb to tap the ‘send’ key. Suddenly  something held me back. Stupid fears begun to creep into my conscience. I could feel chills down my spine. But why was I scared of tapping the ‘send’ key?

My fears weren’t abnormal. Everyone goes through them once in a lifetime. First love fears. They exist in the whole world to everyone. Black or white. Literate or illiterate. Tall or short. As long as you have a heart that knows how to reciprocate love – There’s no vaccination against  first love fears.

Fears that makes everyone  dream of loving again blur. The reason being each time you want to love again, fears creep into you. You  get into a fix same as mine. Love is here, you’ve already typed a reply but you simply can’t type the ‘send’ key. You begin to remember of how once you met a stranger, made them so special. Gave them a chance to teach you all the strange-good things in love. Don’t get emotional. Read on. A total stranger gets to know who you are, your pros and cons. How to kiss, hug and cuddle up more than little puppies. Things that no one else would ever teach you in life. You know what am talking about right? This stranger slowly  becomes your addiction and probably the only reason you need your battery fully charged 24/7. When your demons rise up, they become the best exorcist. Interesting isn’t it?

Then one day the flames become more than an inferno. You go through the valley of death Itself. You learn that you have to be strong to overcome it.Your small heaven becomes a hell of a something. You learn to fight battles that weren’t ever in your schedule. A warrior.Whatever used to be love becomes hate – You know understand better why people say,

“The line between love and hate is very small”

As if that’s not enough you begin to battle yourself, Whenever you see them. Your heartbeat changes  and your breath grows shorter. You realize it’s all gone now.

But NO! It’s not. Do you know what makes you a unique person? Your ability to make changes. A real lover knows that one person is enough for them. Even after all the battles, if you realize that they are all you need – Go for it.Love them to eternity.

True love isn’t scared of flames.It swallows all tornadoes and floats on the storms.

Love them forever.

Xoxo.

6

I still remember how she looked straight into my eyes.Boldly blinking severally.It was the same kind of look. Obviously the  impression given when one is  about to speak out their hearts;Drowsy and shy but with a promising calmness in it.After what i opted to be a sigh into breaking the ice,her hands slithered from my back  and  slowly rested behind my head.I must say she was so learned in her facial expression and this – was definitely more than i thought.I was scared yeah!Not because something bad could happen- I was  beginning to feel insecure.Do you ever get into a stupid tension and yet you know there’s  nothing  wrong? That’s my case here.Finally she moved closer ,held my right ear and whispered gently;

“JJ i know you are a serious  mess,a weirdo and probably a complicated idiot.That doesn’t matter to me.Listen carefully.You are the best beast for me.”

For a few moments i was numb,Everything seemed like a dream until when i felt her tender fingers wipe my tears.She might have had a few long nails but she was carefully not to bruise my face.For the first time i shed tears of sincerity.I personally couldn’t imagine that someone would treasure me  that much.It was  real.

If am trying to remember when it happened,then i must be joking.Who would try to forget  their most memorable days? I can’t. You are a real example of what true love can’t do.Die.

Today here i am pen and paper on my desk.The candle light is fading and it’s wax melting slowly by slowly.I feel i need to write more of that experience buy why?.Maybe memories are haunting me but what i definetly know is that, I won’t forget it any sooner. The hidden fact is that, nothing ever dissapears completely and nothing goes to waste. You didn’t get it clear enough;Things born of the heart never fade.You are never going to be dead to me.

Alive forever.Thank you.

My grandfather lived a longer life than i would ever do, Yeah! It’s the fact and you know it too.Want to know why? Because he ate no junkies, Had no play stations , watched nothing sinful and lastly didn’t know what emojis meant from the first day of his life. Does that make sense now-why you won’t live old enough to be like your grandfather? Well it sounds bad but that’s the truth.

But there’s still hope,Yeah! In fact you’ve got all it takes to live more than your old buddy.Wanna know why? In this century the only thing that hasn’t been made is “life”. So be guaranteed it’s almost possible to make years hah-aha! exaggeration at hand oops!

The 21st century boy wakes up late in the morning, the first thing he does is to beat up his alarm clock, secondly reaches out his hand to find his phone in his blanket, once he gets it, trust me he might even spend the rest of his day in bed-But he would definitely feel hungry(That forces everyone to wake up).

He needs to now how many likes he has on Facebook, how many more followers to get on Instagram and not to forget-How to get the latest sneakers in town.It’s every boys’ dream.

To be continued………..