John articles

You know that  sick feeling when you can actually feel the pain in your chest  from remembering something that  really breaks your heart. That moment a thought flashes your mind and you totally lose your appetite. And just to get over it you tell yourself,

“You’re going to ace your finals, you’re going to be on summer break, you’re gonna  be okay, Don’t sweat the small things”

Well I know It has taken you  to get over the pain. Confidence was lost. Trust was broken and the flexibility to open up to anyone else was drowned. Maybe its fate. But what if this same fate was mistaken? What if time has to be reversed would things be the same? Maybe Yes maybe No.

The soul is tired and dying. Tired of fighting for souls that wouldn’t be willing to do the same, Dying from the anxiousness and despair. I  know for as long as you can remember it’s all unfair. Unfair how expectations are trashed into the same dustbin of humiliation. Does it hurt to trash? I mean trash  affection into the same bin of hopelessness? Maybe it’s OK with them but I know  even if your pride rose twice as much, you wouldn’t make them feel your pain. And the reason is your HEART. Anyway who knows. Matters of the heart can never be complicated enough. Someday things will make perfect sense to you.

But before you think of someday. The truth is one day you’ll be so happy. So happier. You will get to a point of asking.

“Why wasn’t I patient in this life?”

Your lost friends will be back.The love that was buried will be unveiled. Affection will be real. Your whispers will be loud enough. Your pain will mean a lot to someone. A new dawn will be real. It will be a fulfillment of all your desires.

So say this to yourself today:

Please dear heart when you feel like things ain’t in place, when you feel like you can’t withstand it all. Please hold on a little longer before withering.

Don’t try to  tire or die.

Cheer up♥

Xoxo

The truth is I can’t put words into how much I love you. Yeah! I know I haven’t seen you but all i know is that you’re out there just for me. I don’t know if this letter is worth being written. Am also not sure whether you’ll ever come across it. But just in case you do, whoever you are, whenever you are just know you are the chosen one.Come to me soon.

As I write am trying to think maybe we’ll meet accidentally or probably i see you everyday and haven’t realized it’s you. What if I’ve already found you and you are the one-Who knows? We might even meet as strangers and let our flames grow into an inferno. Love also knows its way home. I suppose i have all the reasons to make guesses because i know you are out there waiting to meet me someday.But one thing i know is that even if you won’t have a crown, to me you’ll always be a queen. What will attract me to you is your tender love and a cute smile that will carry me away. How you will look at me at first I’ll definitely know your loyalty to me and keep you royal enough. So i know probably all these sounds stupid and awkward but am certain that when we walk down the aisle, all will be a happily ever after story in the mouths of your friends.

Dear future wife maybe writing a letter to you might not be effective enough. Am into conviction probably I should have written a poem, or a song but what if all that isn’t in your line? Another side says i should have stayed and waited to see you in person and say all these in person because no matter how many pages i scribble down, I’ll need to put an end. But having you right besides me, our conversations would go on and on. My friends say that am lyrical and always tell me that if i wasn’t a love affairs writer then I’d probably be an Trey songs singer.I don’t know how right they are about me but all i know is you will prove to them that my patience was worth it.

I think too much in terms of love and i guess a day wouldn’t be gone before I say something about love. So in this letter i choose words. Words that go beyond. Far much beyond the shallows of the soul. Words that will keep you on toes to wait for me as you have always done because to tell you the truth – It’s worthwhile. I will accept your flaws and a pre-promise, i will never judge you not even in my temperaments. Oops! wait do i have tempers? Not really but once in a while i need someone to grab me and say

“Let the pain go, am here for you”

I will never hurt you intentionally and trust me I’ll be there for you. ALWAYS.

I don’t know whether you will be light or dark-skinned, slim or chubby, short or taller than I am. All i know is you will be enough for me and i will be glad i found you.

For you I will keep the vow to my best:

“I take you to be my lovely wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part”

The sweet thing about it is that death won’t change anything.

I will love you till eternity.

Xoxo

Hello dear,

What am about to text you will probably shock you but the truth is it’s not easy for me either.

I love you so much and I’d say for sure you are one person I wouldn’t imagine being away from. Your personality is unique all the way to how you make your stands is one thing that gives me crazy chills.

I have known you for less than 4 years  but I feel as if we’ve been together for the rest of our lives. I haven’t done much for you and yet you always make me feel like am a great person from outside. How you describe me from my dress codes to my walking styles down to how I smile. It’s so satisfying and I can’t describe it much better than you do. Lol!

Well said, the reason as to why I,m texting all these is to show you how much you’ve impacted my life. (Forgive me to say this) I know we’ve never been out for a date except on occasional basis but it feels like every day is valentine to us and roses always keep on piling up in our treasure box. Yeah! I sure have it in my brain and always have it ringing like when do we do it? When do I go playing hide and seek in the woods?. When do we swim together into the deep end? When do we do the color festivals and have the fireworks making love shapes in the sky? I’m a bit crazy when it comes to boosting my adrenaline (Having fun).I get wild and let my energy flow, from my head to my toes.

I hope you still reading closely, one simple reality is that my world has been a small heaven and I feel that I’ve met an angel in person. Am not trying to be lyrical or poetic you are one person close to my weirdness and far from my illusions. A dream and someone I thought  I’d never be right for.

But on the contrary  much has been happening – emotionally. I feel as if I’m straining to fit in. I mean I have stupid fears that can’t be explained by anyone. But the fears keep on creeping into my mind. I don’t know if there’s another way out. To be sincere enough- I feel lost. The truth is what we have isn’t working. My wish is for us to be happy 24/7 but I’m in a few positions to guess how it should work.

I know this sounds strange but it’s true within me. Not because you ain’t giving it your best. Not because you ain’t enough- You are more than enough. But on my side I’m not safe. And am sorry because that only means one thing. I need to find myself and feel safe because it will be an emotional humiliation to keep you stranded in my unpredictable fears. The love is strong the fears are stronger. Don’t even think of saying that am over thinking. This is my inner voice calling to  the rescue of the forgotten meadows.

You ain’t leaving my heart soon because that will be more than a piercing but I have to let you be. No pressure. No strings attached. No hard feelings.

I hope someday this will make perfect sense.

Yours loving,

♥♥AS ALWAYS♥♥