John articles

There is one mistake many people make about those who live abroad.

The moment someone leaves home, many people assume they have become rich. They imagine a good salary, a comfortable life, and plenty of money to spend. They think that because you live in another country, helping everyone back home should be easy.

Of course, not every immigrant shares the same experience. Some have built successful careers and live comfortably. Others have genuinely found financial freedom. But for many, life abroad is far less glamorous than people imagine.

Many are simply trying to build a better future, one paycheck at a time.

Someone may be disappointed because you couldn’t buy them an iPhone, yet you’ve been using the same Android phone for the last ten years.

Another may ask why you couldn’t contribute to the family house, unaware that you’ve spent years living in shared accommodation just to keep your expenses low.

Someone else may wonder why you couldn’t help them buy a car, not knowing you’ve been riding a bicycle for years because owning one is still beyond your reach.

The problem is not that people care. The problem is that they often see where you live without seeing how you live.

They hear that you earn in dollars, pounds, euros, or baht, but they forget that you also spend in those same currencies. Rent is expensive. Food is expensive. Transport is expensive. There are taxes, insurance, visa costs, and many other expenses that quickly reduce what looks like a large salary on paper.

As the Roman philosopher Seneca observed, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.” His words remind us that expectations can grow faster than gratitude if we are not careful.

Money is only one part of the story.

For many people, living abroad also means missing birthdays, weddings, family gatherings, and sometimes even funerals. It means watching parents grow older through video calls and celebrating holidays far from the people who matter most. These sacrifices rarely appear in photographs or social media posts, but they are part of the reality for countless people living away from home.

The writer Maya Angelou once said, “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.” Her words capture the resilience that many immigrants carry as they navigate unfamiliar cultures, demanding jobs, and the emotional weight of being far from home.

Most people who move abroad do not resent helping their families. In many cultures, supporting loved ones is seen as both an honour and a responsibility. The difficulty comes when every act of generosity slowly becomes an expectation, and every inability to help is mistaken for unwillingness.

Families should remember that the person abroad is also building a life. They have dreams, responsibilities, setbacks, and unexpected expenses just like everyone else.

Perhaps, before asking, “Why didn’t you send more this month?” we could first ask, “How are you doing?”

That simple question reminds someone that they are valued not only for what they can provide, but also for who they are.

Living abroad does not automatically mean someone has made it. For some, it does. For many others, it simply means they have chosen a different path—one filled with opportunity, but also with sacrifice.

Before judging what someone couldn’t send, take a moment to consider what they may already be carrying. Behind every money transfer is a human being trying to build a future while staying connected to the people they left behind.

Sometimes, understanding is worth far more than another expectation.