We’ve all grown up inside a system that teaches us certain expectations about life. I like to call it the reward system. It’s that silent formula society passes down: if you do A, then B will follow. If you study hard and go to school, you will succeed. If you stay disciplined, work hard, or settle down, then happiness and stability will surely come.

On the surface, this system makes sense. After all, effort and discipline often do bring results. Education can open doors, and responsibility can lead to growth. The problem isn’t that these values are wrong — the problem is in the guarantee we’re made to believe. We’re rarely told that life is much more complex, that doing “A” doesn’t always guarantee “B.”

You can spend years in school and still struggle to find opportunities. You can commit to family life and find that the weight of responsibility is heavier than anyone ever warned you about. You can work harder than most people around you and still fall short because circumstances outside your control shift the ground beneath your feet.

This mismatch between expectation and reality is what quietly wounds so many people. When the promised reward doesn’t come, we start to think something must be wrong with us. And that’s how discouragement, shame, and depression take root. Not always because life failed — but because our expectations were built on a fragile foundation.

So maybe what we need is not to throw away effort, school, or responsibility — but to challenge the rigid reward system narrative. Life isn’t a transaction where your input guarantees an equal output. It’s more like a journey, one with detours, delays, and unexpected turns. And those turns don’t mean you’ve failed. They mean you are living.

We should start telling each other a more honest story: It’s okay if your life doesn’t look like the picture you once imagined. It’s okay if you haven’t arrived at the milestones that others told you would define success. Your timeline doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. What matters is that you keep moving, keep learning, and keep redefining what success means to you.

Because sometimes, the real reward isn’t what society promised — the degree, the job, the family, the “perfect life.” The real reward is resilience. It’s growth. It’s discovering who you are becoming in the process of navigating all the unexpected turns.

So don’t beat yourself up if “A” didn’t lead to “B.” Life doesn’t always work like that. And maybe that’s not a flaw in you — maybe that’s just the way life unfolds.