FIRST LOVE FEARS

Waking up that morning,I got a text on my phone reading out loudly in bold letters;

“Hi, I know you are single. And am also sure that you have no secret admirer in mind.Yeah! I  also have it guaranteed that you don’t want to be in any relationship any soon. Well that’s okay. I want you know that, whenever you feel like loving someone, lemme be the first priority. I want to be your first love. I know this sounds awkward and kiddish. Maybe you’re thinking am a ‘desperado’ but ‘Nop’. Please grant my solemn wish.”

Lord gracious! I hadn’t seen this coming my way. I rose up from my bed, sat on my pillow. Crossed my legs and reread the ‘solemn wish’. It was real.But how? How could a stranger know that am single?-I had no secret admirer and didn’t want to be in any relationship any soon? I couldn’t remember telling anyone about my  ‘Love line’. My curiosity grew wider beyond my limits and I definitely needed to sort things out. Maybe this was it.Love.

I raised my fingers. Moved them in sequences across my qwerty keyboard and begun to type a reply. But something was strange about this stranger. I rarely reply to unknown senders. But here i was typing a reply. I must say this was more special than i thought. The thrill was unusual.

I typed word by word, making sure all my telepathic engines were functioning.No mood swings. I mean am not the only who behaves this way.We are many out there. That moment you get a text from a stranger and they sound so polite – you even get interested in wanting to meet them in person. You find yourself  typing skeptically  in one single-text-message. Excluding nothing. I know you do it too. Don’t you? Ha! Ha! Ha!.

The thrill was actually incredible because I sunk deeply into it. Typed skeptically  including all the appropriate emojis. Then I realized that I even had an imaginary person in my mind. The more I typed, the more  I saw myself in a face to face conversation with the stranger. Finally I was done typing. Raised my thumb to tap the ‘send’ key. Suddenly  something held me back. Stupid fears begun to creep into my conscience. I could feel chills down my spine. But why was I scared of tapping the ‘send’ key?

My fears weren’t abnormal. Everyone goes through them once in a lifetime. First love fears. They exist in the whole world to everyone. Black or white. Literate or illiterate. Tall or short. As long as you have a heart that knows how to reciprocate love – There’s no vaccination against  first love fears.

Fears that makes everyone  dream of loving again blur. The reason being each time you want to love again, fears creep into you. You  get into a fix same as mine. Love is here, you’ve already typed a reply but you simply can’t type the ‘send’ key. You begin to remember of how once you met a stranger, made them so special. Gave them a chance to teach you all the strange-good things in love. Don’t get emotional. Read on. A total stranger gets to know who you are, your pros and cons. How to kiss, hug and cuddle up more than little puppies. Things that no one else would ever teach you in life. You know what am talking about right? This stranger slowly  becomes your addiction and probably the only reason you need your battery fully charged 24/7. When your demons rise up, they become the best exorcist. Interesting isn’t it?

Then one day the flames become more than an inferno. You go through the valley of death Itself. You learn that you have to be strong to overcome it.Your small heaven becomes a hell of a something. You learn to fight battles that weren’t ever in your schedule. A warrior.Whatever used to be love becomes hate – You know understand better why people say,

“The line between love and hate is very small”

As if that’s not enough you begin to battle yourself, Whenever you see them. Your heartbeat changes  and your breath grows shorter. You realize it’s all gone now.

But NO! It’s not. Do you know what makes you a unique person? Your ability to make changes. A real lover knows that one person is enough for them. Even after all the battles, if you realize that they are all you need – Go for it.Love them to eternity.

True love isn’t scared of flames.It swallows all tornadoes and floats on the storms.

Love them forever.

Xoxo.